The Gallivanting Goat of Gracin County

As a veterinarian, each day is an interesting adventure; some are more interesting than others...

Horses are my first love.  I have many fantastic horse owning clients, and time-to-time they ask for help with other animals/pets on their farms.  Several months ago I received a phone call from a client who works closely with an animal shelter.  They had acquired a goat that needed to be castrated.  I offered my assistance and looked forward to putting my veterinary goat skills to the test.

I arrived and made my introductions.  A crowd of people began to gather. I nervously looked around, wondering if I misunderstood something, and what I had gotten myself into.

I was escorted to the barn where the little goat was being stalled.  The gentleman in charge looked at me saying, "Well Doc, he's in there!  We will wait for you out here."  I gave him a questioning look before slowly opening the door.  I cautiously entered the dark barn, and as my eyes adjusted, I could see the coat of a creature sleeping in the adjacent stall.  I quietly peered over the stall door.  Staring back at me was the largest boar goat I had ever seen!  His horns were massive, and the look he gave me told me that he was well versed in using them.

I quietly administered the sedative under the stall door into the goat. "This is going to be a piece of cake," I thought to myself before exiting the barn.  The anxious group of people had grown in number,  "Seriously? Had I missed a memo?"

Minutes later, I returned to the barn to see how my patient was progressing.  He was resting quietly, the breathing, slow and rhythmic.  "Perfect," I mumbled.  I again peered over the stall door.  The eyes glaring back told me that the goat was still in need of some "goat goodnight" elixir. I tried once again.

It did the trick.  I gathered several of the "castration groupies" together and made a plan of getting the goat out of the barn.  We decided our makeshift surgery suite would be in a cleaned stock trailer, so that the goat could be transported later in the day.

The castration procedure went as planned, but the during the procedure a local television station arrived.  A reporter, complete with camera man, wanted to film the procedure.  It was to be used as a local news story for the animal rescue.  So...I guess everyone else knew something I didn't as several of the castration groupies began grooming their hair for the camera.

I smiled and went about my work.  The procedure was completed, and I cleaned up, the crowd seemed pleased; however, the goat did not.  

Several weeks passed before I received an email from the animal rescue.  The television report was to run that night on the 10PM news.  That night I quietly was anxious to see my mug on the television, my Andy Warhol 15 minutes of fame, so-to-speak.  The reporter said many wonderful things about the rescue, and then my care of the animal that day.  I was all smiles, until...the reporter gave an update of  the goat.  "At this time,  the goat's whereabouts are unknown,"  she said.  

"Whereabouts unknown?" I exclaimed,my mouth full of toothpaste, as I readied myself for bed.  

The goat, upon transport to a ranch, had escaped.  Many had attempted to capture him, but none had succeeded.  The goat was roaming the countryside of Gracin county.  Each week sightings were called into the local sheriff's office.  The goat appears to be thriving and doing well.  

My wife turned to me saying, "Well, at least you helped to decrease the unwanted wild goat population."  I didn't know if she was serious or not.  So much for my 15 minutes of fame.

And that's almost exactly how it happened....I will keep my day job for now, well, at least until Hollywood starts calling... 

 

A Day in the Small Animal Clinic

I love caring for horses each and every day.  When I attended veterinary school I naively believed that all the students wanted to work with horses; small animal medicine was what you did when you were at the farm and had a barn cat with an ailment. 

I am an equine veterinarian, at least until last Wednesday...

I received a call the month before from a small animal veterinarian needing someone to cover for a day in the clinic.  I had agreed in a flash, a month from now seemed like forever, until the day it arrived.  I made my way to the clinic, and introductions to the staff were welcoming. 

As I settled in, I began to ask myself why hadn't I taken the small animal route more seriously? 

As my dad would say, "Inside work and no heavy lifting."Small animals were really just small horses, right? 

Th day began with a routine vaccination, piece of cake... The exam and vaccination went without incident.  I completed the necessary paperwork and asked the owner if she had further questions or concerns.  She smiled politely and then pulled out a list; she asked if I could also trim the toe nails, heartworm test the dog, relieve the dogs anal gland, and then look at the bump on the inside of his mouth.

Simple enough.  Pulling out my toe nail trimmer, I set to work.  The dog began to growl lifting its upper lip.  The owner had forgotten to mention that "Banjo" was not a big fan of nail trims.  "Oh not to worry, he won't bite," she replied.  As I reached for a leg, Banjo made his move and locked onto my hand.

A scrub, some paper towels, and a few band aids later, we placed a comfortable pink muzzle on Banjo. As I once again got back to work there was knock at the door.  The next two patients were waiting in exam rooms 2 and 3.  The highlight of the exam was relieving the anal glands, which reminded quickly why I love horses.

Th entire day was non-stop, one exam room to the next. I was enjoying the pace...and that the staff ordered out for lunch.  I actually was able to enjoy lunch that hadn't originated from the glove box of my truck.  Small animal vets have it so good...


The client arrived with the large yellow labrador.  Hanging onto the dog's collar for dear life, he looked frazzled, and as I closed the door, he said, "I'll be back with the next one."

The next one?  He arrived moments later with a black labrador, again hanging on for dear life.  He shoved the dog through the doorway saying, "I'll be back with the next one."


The next one?  The scene repeated itself five more times.  As the dogs were dropped off, I continued on with my paperwork until the smell arrived.  I turned to the find the three male dogs each urinating on a separate corner of the exam room.  The small German Shorthair pointer was defecating in the floor and the Springer Spaniel was digging in the trash. 


I hurriedly began attempting to clean the mess, and then the next mess, and then the...As I cleaned what I thought was the end of it, I turned to find that it had started all over again.  I finally gave up when the paper towels were gone.  I wanted to send an "SOS" to someone, but I felt trapped, surrounded by panting and pooping. 


I finally vaccinated all the dogs and collected the paperwork for the owner amid the melee of wagging tails and licking.  The dogs left, one by one, but they left.  The day was finally over.  I said my goodbyes and walked, almost running, to my truck.  I have never been so happy to sit in my truck.  As I headed home the pungent odor of dog feces filled the air.  Apparently I had not chosen my steps carefully enough... I love horses.