The Gallivanting Goat of Gracin County

As a veterinarian, each day is an interesting adventure; some are more interesting than others...

Horses are my first love.  I have many fantastic horse owning clients, and time-to-time they ask for help with other animals/pets on their farms.  Several months ago I received a phone call from a client who works closely with an animal shelter.  They had acquired a goat that needed to be castrated.  I offered my assistance and looked forward to putting my veterinary goat skills to the test.

I arrived and made my introductions.  A crowd of people began to gather. I nervously looked around, wondering if I misunderstood something, and what I had gotten myself into.

I was escorted to the barn where the little goat was being stalled.  The gentleman in charge looked at me saying, "Well Doc, he's in there!  We will wait for you out here."  I gave him a questioning look before slowly opening the door.  I cautiously entered the dark barn, and as my eyes adjusted, I could see the coat of a creature sleeping in the adjacent stall.  I quietly peered over the stall door.  Staring back at me was the largest boar goat I had ever seen!  His horns were massive, and the look he gave me told me that he was well versed in using them.

I quietly administered the sedative under the stall door into the goat. "This is going to be a piece of cake," I thought to myself before exiting the barn.  The anxious group of people had grown in number,  "Seriously? Had I missed a memo?"

Minutes later, I returned to the barn to see how my patient was progressing.  He was resting quietly, the breathing, slow and rhythmic.  "Perfect," I mumbled.  I again peered over the stall door.  The eyes glaring back told me that the goat was still in need of some "goat goodnight" elixir. I tried once again.

It did the trick.  I gathered several of the "castration groupies" together and made a plan of getting the goat out of the barn.  We decided our makeshift surgery suite would be in a cleaned stock trailer, so that the goat could be transported later in the day.

The castration procedure went as planned, but the during the procedure a local television station arrived.  A reporter, complete with camera man, wanted to film the procedure.  It was to be used as a local news story for the animal rescue.  So...I guess everyone else knew something I didn't as several of the castration groupies began grooming their hair for the camera.

I smiled and went about my work.  The procedure was completed, and I cleaned up, the crowd seemed pleased; however, the goat did not.  

Several weeks passed before I received an email from the animal rescue.  The television report was to run that night on the 10PM news.  That night I quietly was anxious to see my mug on the television, my Andy Warhol 15 minutes of fame, so-to-speak.  The reporter said many wonderful things about the rescue, and then my care of the animal that day.  I was all smiles, until...the reporter gave an update of  the goat.  "At this time,  the goat's whereabouts are unknown,"  she said.  

"Whereabouts unknown?" I exclaimed,my mouth full of toothpaste, as I readied myself for bed.  

The goat, upon transport to a ranch, had escaped.  Many had attempted to capture him, but none had succeeded.  The goat was roaming the countryside of Gracin county.  Each week sightings were called into the local sheriff's office.  The goat appears to be thriving and doing well.  

My wife turned to me saying, "Well, at least you helped to decrease the unwanted wild goat population."  I didn't know if she was serious or not.  So much for my 15 minutes of fame.

And that's almost exactly how it happened....I will keep my day job for now, well, at least until Hollywood starts calling...